In this moving episode, Mike Carr shares the deeply personal challenges of safeguarding children with profound autism, offering a window into the constant vigilance required to protect those we love most. He recounts a heart-stopping moment when a miscommunication at school led to a child running dangerously close to a busy street—proving that even the most trusted spaces can pose unexpected risks. At home, Mike has turned his love into action, creating five layers of security to shield his son, from smart locks to cameras, crafting a haven in an often unpredictable world. But he also opens up about how even well-meaning institutions can fall short, recalling a fire drill when school doors were mistakenly left unlocked, exposing vulnerabilities in the system. Mike’s heartfelt message resonates deeply: safety isn’t just about precautions; it’s about constant vigilance, clear communication, and proactive preparation. “You can never be too safe,” he reminds us—a simple but powerful truth for families navigating these challenges. This episode is a comforting, hope-filled reminder that every effort to ensure safety matters—and that love is the driving force behind it all.
The Importance of Multi-Layered Safety for Children with Autism: A Story of Vigilance and Preparedness
As parents of children with profound autism, we are constantly on alert. Our daily routines are often punctuated by the need to plan for the unexpected, anticipate challenges, and make decisions that prioritize our child’s safety. For those of us raising children who do not fully understand danger, the stakes are higher, and the margin for error is smaller. This story is a personal account of how one seemingly perfect morning led to a shocking wake-up call that reinforced the importance of creating multiple layers of safety. It’s a tale that speaks to the heart of every parent’s duty—ensuring that our children are safe, no matter what happens around them.
A Morning That Seemed Too Good to Be True
It was just another typical morning at home—at least, that’s what it felt like at first. Mike Carr, a father of a profoundly autistic son, had the rare kind of morning that many parents dream of. His son woke up in a good mood, a pleasant surprise in itself, as some days could be more challenging. There was no screaming or pinching, no signs of anxiety or resistance. In fact, his son even managed to dress himself, putting on his favorite red shirt, pants, and shoes with minimal assistance.
Breakfast went smoothly, and soon, they were on their way to school. It was one of those mornings where everything seemed to align perfectly. No rushing, no stress, and certainly no surprises. As Mike dropped his son off at school, he felt a sense of relief. Finally, a morning where everything was going right. He continued his errands, feeling good about the day ahead.
But as he drove past his son’s school, something caught his eye. It was a flash of red. A familiar color. The kind of red that instantly stood out to a parent who knows that particular shade. At first, it didn’t register. But then, Mike’s heart skipped a beat. He looked again, this time with disbelief. It wasn’t just a flash of color—it was his child.
There, standing on his own, was his son’s classmate, running away from the school building and dangerously close to the road. It was the kind of moment that seems to happen in slow motion, the kind of moment that every parent of an autistic child dreads. Mike’s heart stopped. His son’s classmate was by himself, heading straight for a busy street filled with traffic.
Without thinking, Mike slammed on the brakes. His mind raced with thoughts of his son. Was he okay? Was this happening to him, too? In a split second, he turned into the school parking lot, his heart pounding in his chest. As he came closer, he saw the child more clearly, and his fears were somewhat alleviated. It wasn’t his son. It was his son’s classmate.
The child’s mother, who had happened to be in the area, quickly sprung into action, grabbing her son before he wandered into the street and taking him back to the safety of the school. It was a close call, but it was a relief to know that the child was okay.
But then, as the mother entered the school to report what had happened, she saw something that made her stomach lurch. There, in the hallway, was Mike’s son—wandering on his own. He wasn’t in any immediate danger, but he was unsupervised. How had this happened? How could a school that was trusted with the safety of children let this occur?
The Consequences of Miscommunication
The situation that unfolded in the school that day was a result of miscommunication. The teacher and the teacher’s assistant had both assumed the other was watching the children. For a brief moment, the kids were left unattended, and in that time, Mike’s son managed to slip away from the supervision of the school staff. But there was another factor at play here—security. The front door of the school had no lock, and there was no alarm to alert anyone if the door was opened.
How could this happen in a place that should be a fortress for children? It was a wake-up call for Mike, a reminder that even the most trusted environments could fail if proper safety measures weren’t in place. That day, the security gaps in the school became clear, but the story doesn’t end there. It’s a reminder that as parents of children with autism, we must be proactive in securing our homes, our schools, and every environment our children enter.
The Need for Multiple Layers of Safety
As unsettling as this incident was, it led Mike to rethink the way he approached safety for his son. He realized that relying on a single layer of protection—whether it was the school’s security system or even the best intentions of teachers and staff—wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough to hope that everything would go smoothly. We needed to create multiple layers of safety.
At home, Mike and his wife had taken steps to ensure their son’s safety. They knew that their son, like many children with profound autism, didn’t fully understand the dangers around him. For that reason, they installed a comprehensive system designed to monitor every movement.
First, they added a smart lock to their son’s room. This smart lock gave them the ability to secure the door, ensuring that he couldn’t wander off without them knowing. But that wasn’t enough. They also installed a chain lock above the smart lock, a second layer of security that required extra effort to remove. It was an added safeguard in case the first system failed.
To further protect their son, Mike and his wife installed a Ring sensor on the door. This sensor would send them an alert every time the door opened, notifying them immediately if their son was attempting to leave the room. This was particularly important because, even though the smart lock was in place, the sensor gave them a real-time update on the door’s status.
But Mike didn’t stop there. He also set up cameras in the room, allowing him to monitor his son’s movements from anywhere in the house. With the cameras, Mike could keep an eye on his son and ensure he was safe, even from a distance.
These five layers of security were not just about controlling his environment—they were about giving Mike and his wife peace of mind. They understood that with a child who didn’t understand the concept of safety, they couldn’t afford to take any chances.
The Importance of Vigilance in Schools
While Mike had taken extensive steps to secure his home, he knew that safety didn’t end there. Schools, too, needed to be vigilant. Unfortunately, the situation at Mike’s son’s school that day was a stark reminder of how things can go wrong.
In the case of the plumbing emergency, the school had to leave the front door unlocked. The alarm system was disabled while the plumbers worked. While this may have seemed like a minor adjustment, it was a small vulnerability that left the door open for potential problems. That very day, a fire drill had been scheduled, creating chaos as teachers and assistants tried to get the children to safety. In the confusion of the fire drill, a few children were left unattended in the hallway. For some children, like Mike’s son, this was a dangerous situation waiting to happen.
It wasn’t just the unlocked door or the disabled alarm—it was the chain reaction of events that led to the lapse in supervision. In this case, it wasn’t the school’s negligence; it was a series of unfortunate circumstances. But this situation highlighted the necessity for constant vigilance.
What Can Parents and Schools Do to Prevent These Scenarios?
For parents, the key takeaway is clear: multiple layers of safety are essential. Whether at home or school, we need to ensure that our children are always protected, no matter what disruptions or emergencies may arise.
In the home, this means using technology like smart locks, sensors, cameras, and alarm systems. But it also means staying alert and frequently checking in with your child. It means being proactive, not reactive, in setting up safeguards.
For schools, the lesson is just as important. Schools must have clear safety protocols in place. Teachers and assistants must be trained to handle emergencies and ensure that children are never left unattended. Security systems, like locked doors and alarms, should be non-negotiable. And administrators should always have a backup plan in place, especially during disruptions like fire drills or unexpected maintenance issues.
The Final Word
Safety is never something to take for granted, especially when it comes to children with autism. The story of Mike’s son and his classmate was a stark reminder that no environment is foolproof. But by creating multiple layers of safety, staying vigilant, and ensuring that everyone involved is on the same page, we can reduce the risks and protect our children.
As parents, we must always be ready to step in, to check in, and to make sure that our children’s needs are met. It’s not about being paranoid; it’s about being prepared. And in the end, that preparation can make all the difference in keeping our children safe.
So, take the time to evaluate the safety systems in place for your child. Whether it’s at home, school, or elsewhere, don’t leave anything to chance. Because when it comes to the safety of our children, there’s no such thing as being too careful.
Transcript:
Mike Carr (00:03):
Welcome back to Autism Labs. This week we’re going to talk about multiple layers of safety. So here’s the scenario. You get up, the kids all get up at the same time, and they’re happy, unbelievable. No screaming, no yelling, no pinching. Your profoundly autistic son, even sort of dresses himself, puts on his favorite red shirt, pants, shoes with just minimal help. Breakfast goes well. You get him all into the car, you get him to school on time, things are going really well. Midmorning, you decide to go to the grocery store and you drive right by your son’s school. And so on the way, driving by the school, out of the corner of your eye, you notice a flash of light and maybe a speck of red. And you’re thinking, what in the world could that mean? And so you turn and you notice that there’s a child running by himself out in front of the school building, and your heart stops.
(01:04):
It’s your son, it’s your profoundly autistic son by himself running out in front of the school, very close to a busy street with lots of traffic, and he does not understand danger. So you slam on the brakes. You don’t care that you may cause a car accident. You have got to save your son’s life. Now, this is a true story. It was not our son, it was actually a classmate of his. And the mom was able to turn into the school parking lot without causing an accident. Thank God, getting out of the car, taking her son before he wandered into the street and getting him back into school. And sure enough, when he came into school, she saw our son by himself in the hallway wandering around. He was safe. He wasn’t going to get in any trouble, but he was by himself in the hallway.
(01:58):
How could this have happened? Well, the teacher and the teacher’s, they miscommunicated and they both thought the other one was going to be watching the kids. And so the kids were left alone for a couple minutes, but there was no lock on the front door. There was no alarm on the front door. And sure enough, one of ’em got out. So why would this ever happen and what should you do in your own home? So in our home, we have a smart lock on the door, the door of our son’s area. We have a chain above the smart lock. We have a ring sensor on the very top of the door. So if the door ever opens and closes, we have an audible alarm upstairs where we are so we can hear it. We have an app on our iPhones, since it’s a smart lock that will tell us if someone leaves or enters.
(02:54):
And the fifth layers of security or safety is we have a camera in this room where we can also see what’s going on. So we have five layers. Now you may think that’s excessive, that’s ridiculous. And you may think, Hey, my profoundly autistic son or daughter right now goes to a school that I trust without question the teacher and the TA love them just like our teacher and TA 11. But our school has locked doors. It’s school policy. Those doors will be locked and it’s school policy that there’s an alarm on those doors that that will be activated. And if for any reason those doors are ever left unattended, someone will man those doors. So we’re covered, right? Here’s a scenario. One morning, middle of the week, toilet starts to overflow. In the restroom it’s going to flood. Everything Plumbers are called. Plumbers show up.
(03:51):
They run in. Well, they need to get some equipment in to fix the toilet before it just causes an absolute disaster. So you leave the front door unlocked, turn off the alarm to the front door. That’s okay. However, on that same day, your son’s teacher is sick. So there’s a substitute in the classroom with the teacher’s assistant. Maybe that’s still okay. Unbeknownst to you, a week earlier, a fire drill had been scheduled for that morning. Fire drill goes off, lots of commotion. The substitute teacher, the teacher’s assistant, are trying to corral all the kids and move them out the back of the building, which is what the protocol is for the fire drill. In all the commotion, a couple of kiddos are left unattended by themselves in that hallway. And sure enough, because the plumbers are there, front door is open, the alarm is turned off.
(04:56):
So it is possible. Now, you can never be perfect. We understand that mistakes are going to be made. We understand that too. What we have learned and what you probably are aware of too, just let you know, make sure everyone is aware of the situation, right? Make sure that hey, we’ve got some kiddos that just don’t understand danger. If that door’s ever left unattended, somebody’s got to be there. Even on a day where there’s a fire drill and there’s a plumbing mess. And if it’s nobody else’s available, it’s the principal of school should be parked out there by the front of that door. That just is sort the bare minimum. And then every now and then we sort of pop in and maybe you pop in too and you just sort look around, Hey, how’s everything going? Can I help out? But you’re sort checking everything out.
(05:37):
Is everybody happy? Do we have the teacher there, the teacher’s assistant in the classroom? And of course, on your way out, you go up to that front door and you make sure it is locked. And you take a look up there in that upper right hand corner, and you look for that red glow, which indicates the fire alarm or the door alarm. The lock is armed and active, so the front door is locked. And if anybody were to open that door, that alarm would sound because you can never be too safe when it comes to the safety of your child. Talk to you again next week. See you.
