This is the heartfelt story of a father navigating the challenges of raising a severely autistic son. One particularly overwhelming day—filled with work stress, a difficult morning, and no time for himself—he went for a run to clear his head and was struck by a car. Thankfully, he survived with minor injuries, but the experience left him reflecting on his life.
He shared how raising his son brings constant challenges: financial strain, sleepless nights, and missed plans. Yet, it’s the little moments—his son’s spontaneous hugs and pure affection—that make every sacrifice worthwhile. He encourages other parents to focus on these unique joys, as they can bring light even on the hardest days.
The Unseen Struggles and Blessings of Parenting a Severely Autistic Child: A Story of Stress, Resilience, and Gratitude

Parenting a child with profound autism is a journey that many can’t fully understand unless they live it. It’s a life filled with challenges and stress, but also moments of unexpected beauty and connection. This is the story of one of those moments—a day that started like any other but turned into something that would change my perspective forever.
A Day Like Any Other

A few years ago, I was having one of those days. You know the kind—the ones where everything seems to be going wrong. The weight of work responsibilities was pressing down on me, and at home, my son, Michael, was having a particularly rough morning. For those of us raising children with profound autism, days like these are all too familiar. The stress and exhaustion, the constant testing of patience, and the feeling that your world is spinning out of control are things you can’t explain to most people.
Michael, now 35, is nonverbal and has an IQ below 60. He relies on routines, and when those routines are disrupted, it feels like the whole world is off balance. That day, everything felt off. Kay, my wife, was doing what she does best—managing Michael’s needs with grace while I was feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope. After a while, I just needed to get away. I needed to clear my head.
The Brief Escape: A Run to Clear My Mind

I grabbed my bike and headed to the Shoal Creek Trail in Austin, Texas. The rhythm of the ride, the fresh air, and the movement helped momentarily quiet the storm in my mind. I rode for a solid hour and a half, stretched afterward, and felt like I had hit the reset button. Physically drained but mentally relieved, I thought I had finally escaped the stress of the morning.
But as I was riding back home, something lingered. The weight of the responsibilities, the emotional toll of being a father to a child with severe autism, and the constant challenges we face—financial, emotional, physical—were still there. No amount of riding could erase it completely. The stress was always waiting for me, ready to pick up right where it left off.
The Moment That Stopped Me in My Tracks

As I neared the end of my ride, I was crossing a well-marked crosswalk under the MoPac Bridge when it happened. I waved to a passing car and glanced to the right to see another vehicle coming down Veterans Drive. That’s when everything went dark.
Out of nowhere, a car ran through the crosswalk without stopping. The next thing I knew, I was on the ground, dazed and confused. My left shoulder, arm, and leg were numb. A few joggers rushed over to check if I was okay. The driver, a high school student from Austin High, had stopped a couple of hundred feet away, shaking, pale, and apologizing profusely. He hadn’t seen me.Miraculously, I wasn’t seriously hurt—just a few bruises and a snapped bike cable. But it was a wake-up call. I thought to myself, What if I had been half a second earlier? That could have been the end of my life. It was a moment that forced me to re-evaluate everything—the stress, the struggles, the way I had been seeing my life.
Reflecting on Parenting a Severely Autistic Child

As I slowly rode home, I couldn’t shake the feeling of how fragile life can be. I thought about Michael and Kay, and what life had turned into for us. Raising Michael hasn’t been easy—he’s still profoundly autistic, still relies on adult diapers, still needs our care every day. His world is chaotic, and sometimes it feels like the weight of everything is too much. There’s no manual for raising a child like Michael, and the challenges are relentless.
But as I reflected on it all, something clicked. Yes, life is hard. Yes, parenting Michael is a full-time job with no breaks, no vacations, and no sick days. But there’s something else too—something I often forget in the grind of day-to-day life.
The Blessings Hidden in Stress

The unconditional love Michael shows me, even in the face of his own struggles, is a blessing in disguise. His way of communicating—without words—has taught me to see the world through a different lens. It’s a gift that many people never experience.
As I move into 2025, I’m making a resolution: to manage my stress better. The next time life feels overwhelming, I’ll take a step back and remember that Michael’s life, while challenging, has made me a better person. He’s taught me patience, empathy, and understanding. And when the weight of it all feels too heavy, I’ll remember those simple moments of connection—the hug, the smile, the bond we share.
Managing Stress as a Parent of a Severely Autistic Child
If you’re a parent of a child with severe autism, you know the toll it can take on your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It’s easy to feel like it’s all too much, but I encourage you to take a moment to reflect on the blessings in your life. Here are a few tips that have helped me along the way:
- Take Time for Yourself: Caregiving is demanding, but you need to recharge. Whether it’s a walk, a workout, or just sitting in silence, make sure you’re taking care of your own well-being.
- Find Support: Reach out to others who understand your journey. Whether it’s a support group or simply talking to a friend, you’re not alone.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Sometimes, the little moments—like a hug or a smile—are the ones that make the biggest difference.
- Practice Gratitude: In times of stress, take a moment to reflect on the things you’re grateful for. Even small things—like your child’s smile or the support of your partner—can be life-changing.
- Seek Professional Help: If the stress becomes overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek help. Therapy can provide valuable tools for coping and improving your emotional well-being.
Conclusion: The Blessing Within the Struggle
Parenting a child with severe autism isn’t easy. It’s a journey filled with highs, lows, doubts, and moments of pure joy. But through it all, I’ve learned that the stress and struggles we face are also paired with incredible blessings. The love my son shows me reminds me of what truly matters in life.
The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress, take a moment to reflect on the unique bond you share with your child. It may not be the life you planned, but it’s a life filled with raw emotion, deep connection, and love that’s stronger than words. And that’s something truly special.
Transcript
Mike Carr (00:06):
Well, we’re back again, and I wanted to talk about stress. I think we all face a lot of stress, and with the profoundly or severely autistic son or daughter, we’ve got stress coming out our ears. So a couple of years ago, it was that long ago, but it’s an interesting story. I was really feeling overly stressed one morning, hadn’t gotten to work out for a day or two. Work was not going well. My son, Michael, who’s severely autistic, was having a bad morning. I needed to go run. And so I knew my wife was down there taking care of him, working with his colleagues, doing the grocery list, all the things that she does with her magic touch, and I didn’t care. I needed to go run. So I hopped on my bike, went over to Shoal Creek Trail, rode down to Town Lake here in Austin, Texas, and over to the trail head on Veterans Drive underneath the MoPac Bridge.
(01:09):
And it was a glorious six and a half mile run. Felt great afterwards, had a long stretch. Took me about an hour and a half and I was ready to ride back knowing that Cade probably handled everything by now. So I was coming back at a good time. Michael was off with his colleague, and I wouldn’t have to deal with any of that like the responsible dad that I am. So I hop on my bike and I glance to the left, there’s a car waves back, and that’s no big deal. I glance to the right and there’s another truck coming the other way on Veteran Drive. And so I start riding down the street and there’s a really well marked crosswalk right underneath a MoPac where the trail head begins, and I’ve crossed that many times. And so I’m on the side laying there and fixing to turn into the crosswalk ever so slightly.
(02:01):
And I glance back and wham, I have no idea what happened. The next thing I remember is I’m flat on my back daze, not really knowing what just happened. My left shoulder’s, numb arms, numb leg, hips numb. I tried to get up and a couple of joggers came over to see if I could, could help me. They saw what happened and some guy was yelling, that car blew right through. The crosswalk didn’t even stop. Well, it turned out it was high school or Austin High is just down the street. And he did stop his car a couple hundred feet past the crosswalk, but he finally stopped and he ran on up and all white and pale and shaking. Oh my God, I didn’t see you all. I didn’t know what was going on. And it turned out I wasn’t really hurt. I was a little banged up and bruised, and my bike was still functional.
(02:58):
Believe it or not. I think it snapped a cable. But other than that, it was actually rideable. And so everybody calmed down. I decided to ride home slowly and on my way home, I thought about had I been half a second sooner or a second sooner, I might not be telling you this story right now. How lucky I was to survive that because it could have put an end to my life, quite frankly, as fast as he evidently was going, and I wouldn’t have been all the way in the crosswalk. I probably could been stopped part of the way, but I would’ve been in enough to have certainly gotten a direct hit on a big chunk of my body. Anyway, I thought about, okay, I’m lucky to survive that. And I thought about everything else. One of those come to Jesus moments and my son and my wife and what it’s like leading a life with a child that you never planned on having.
(03:59):
You were never really ready to take on all those challenges, right? Dads that are watching this right now, and moms too, how much work it is, how much effort, how much money, how so many of those plans change and vacations that you’re planning, you can’t have. I mean, there’s just a lot, right? There’s a lot of stress. There’s a lot of things that sort of pile up. And I was thinking about this and I was also thinking about, but as an example, my son came up early this morning, got up a little bit early, and I was in the office. I have a home office, walked up the stairs, stinky because he wet his bed again. He wets his bed almost every night, 35 years old, still wears adult diapers, which he wets through. We’ve got a lot of things and we still haven all that problem.
(04:50):
Problem walks into my office, puts his arms around me, gives me a big hug, and I hugged him back. He’s nonverbal, but he wanted to tell me, I love you, dad. And you think about all the problems your friends have with normal teens and normal adults. And yeah, there are challenges with your autistic son and daughter, but there’s also that honesty and that just unbridled emotion, whether it’s giving you that big hug or that goofy grin or taking you by the hand, which he does sometimes. And he leads me to his puzzle box because he wants a puzzle. Those moments are pretty darn special. And so one of the things I’m trying to do in 2025 to de-stress when I get overwrought is just take a few breaths and think about, yeah, my son isn’t normal, or your daughter isn’t normal. They’re profoundly or severely autistic, but they’re sort of better than normal, right?
(06:02):
They’re better because they show you their raw emotion. They let it all on their short sleeve. And when they love you or when they need you, whether it’s with that big hug, even though he is stinky or taking you by the hand, or that goofy grin or that crazy laugh, how much you’re needed and how important you are in their life, and how their life has really changed yours for the better. So my recommendation, what I’m asking you to do, the next time you have that high stress moment, and you’re maybe thinking how unfortunate it is that you’ve been saddled with a profoundly or severely autistic son or daughter, and step back and think about how special they are and how, even though it’s a challenge, it’s also a blessing. And hopefully that’ll help you manage that stress a little better. Talk to you again next week. See you.