Why Fun Should Be Your Top Priority
I’m Mike Carr, and through my years of experience with my son Michael and our nonprofit John 13, I’ve learned something crucial that many families overlook: fun isn’t trivial—it’s essential. While we often focus on funding, procedures, and therapies, I believe fun activities should sit at the very top of your priority list.
Key Points:
- Fun is essential, not optional, for individuals with profound autism.
- Joyful activities like boating create lasting connection and happiness.
- Planning is hard, but the smiles and bonding are worth it.
- Fun isn’t separate from care—it’s a powerful form of therapy.
Our Journey: Discovering the Magic of Water Activities
Years ago, when we were searching for meaningful fun activities for Michael, we discovered his profound love for being on the water. The transformation was remarkable—despite all the challenges involved, watching him experience pure joy made every effort worthwhile.
The Reality of Planning Autism Fun Activities
Let me be honest about what goes into creating successful autism fun activities. For our boating adventures, we had to:
- Ensure Michael wore his life jacket properly
- Handle bathroom needs before departure
- Use protective measures for accidents
- Constantly supervise to prevent water jumping
- Monitor his tendency to drink lake water
Last Weekend’s Adventure
Just this past Saturday, Michael went out with three of his buddies for another boat day. Getting him onto an inner tube? Let me tell you, it took about four adults and way more patience than I thought I had left. But once he was there, giggling and laughing – man, it was worth every gray hair it probably gave me.
They spent the entire day together, just being boys – tubing, splashing, pure friendship. Michael, he doesn’t say much, but you could see it in their shared joy. When something’s that good, words just aren’t necessary. There’s this unspoken bond that forms a connection deeper than anything I could explain.
The Hard Truth About Autism Fun Activities
Even on our best boat days, there are meltdowns. Try telling an autistic adult it’s time to get off the boat when they’re having the time of their life. The aggression kicks in, the behaviors start, and suddenly you’re wondering why you didn’t just stay home and watch Netflix.
But then Michael comes home and gives me one of his bear hugs and I remember exactly why we do this. Because despite the seizures, despite the communication challenges, despite all the stuff that makes our lives complicated, he had a great day.
What We’re Building at John 13
Through our Nonprofit J13 and our Respite to Residential Program, we’re trying to create more of these moments for families like ours. We plan activities, outings, and experiences specifically designed to bring joy to adults with intellectual disabilities and autism. Not therapy disguised as fun-actual, honest-to-goodness fun.
What I’ve learned is this: These experiences aren’t just good times. They’re lifelines. They show us that our kids can be happy, that they should be happy, and that sometimes the best way to help them is just to make room for joy.
Why This Matters More Than You Think
Look, I know you’re tired. Believe me, I know you’re overwhelmed. There are days when simply getting through the absolute necessities feels impossible, let alone dreaming up some elaborate outing. But these bits of fun? They’re not separate from all the care you’re providing; they’re actually woven right into it.
When Michael lies on that boat with his hand in the water, smiling at nothing and everything, he’s not just having fun. He’s experiencing what it feels like to be purely, completely happy. And that happiness? It carries over. It makes the hard days a little easier for both of us.
Here’s My Challenge to You
Fun can bloom right in the middle of everything chaotic. You don’t need a fancy boat trip; maybe your kid lights up on car rides, or at the playground, or just sitting outside listening to the birds. Whatever brings them that spark, go make it happen. Plan for it. Fight for it. Because at the end of the day, those moments of pure joy might be the most important therapy your child ever gets.
And trust me – they’ll be some of your most treasured memories too.
Mike Carr (00:05):
Welcome back this week to an episode in autism Labs about the importance of fun, about making it fun. And you may feel that sounds a bit trivial there. Lots of other more important things that have to do with funding and procedures and appropriate therapies. But folks, I believe that you need to put fun at the top of the list. And we learned this many years ago when we were trying to find activities for our son, Michael, and we discovered how much he loved being on the water in a boat. And it took a lot of effort, right? We had to put a life jacket on him. We had to make sure he went to the bathroom before he got on the boat. We had to put a diaper on him. He still would tend to wet his swimsuit. We had to make sure he didn’t jump in the water.
(00:52):
But he loved the sound of the motor. He loved the motion of the waves. And there were instances where he would just lie down on the bench seat and let his hand rest in the water as the boat was moving along with a smile on his face. And you could just sense that he was having a blast. And more recently, just last weekend, he got to go out on a boat again with some of his buddies. And just getting him on the tube was quite the experience. So here’s that video clip that sort of shows how much effort’s involved and just getting him on the tube. Okay, one more step I got to face. I think we got to face this way. Pull. Yeah, pull it.
(01:42):
All right. You ready? Got to look just like you’re climbing into bed, buddy. Come on. Stand on this. Ready? Stand up. So excited. Okay. Are you just going to talk in there the best? Come on. I got you, buddy. Michael, come on. Stand up. There you go. Come on. Whoa. Okay. Come on. Okay, you got to get on your tummy. Turn around. Okay, turn around. So yeah, move your leg. Not this way. Go the other way. Oh my gosh. Smiling the whole time. Just happy as can be on your tummy, on your belly, your tummy belly. You can’t ride like that.
(02:43):
I get you some. One of you guys in the population. Come on. Okay. You want to stay on that side? Okay. Hey, good job. A big smile. Now as you just saw, he’s giggling, he’s laughing, he’s having fun. But it ain’t easy, right? And we know as parents of severely autistic kiddos, a lot of effort has to go into planning an event that truly makes it exciting and fun. But last Saturday, he and three of his buddies had a glorious, a marvelous time on a boat, on the water, enjoying nature with the fresh air, the sunshine, the motion of the boat, riding the inner tubes with somebody right there next to him to make sure that if they fell off, the colleague would fall off with them. And even though everybody had a life jacket on, we know how dangerous water can be, especially for this population.
(04:06):
And we had to make sure that Michael didn’t drink too much water, which of course he ended up doing because he loves drinking water. He doesn’t care whether it’s lake water or not. But the whole point is it was a great day and there was a bonding that takes place amongst guys, amongst anyone. When you go out on a boat with friends and you share that experience, whether you’re verbal or not, there’s something that happens that’s a bit magical, that magic is important, sustaining any program anyone’s life. And so we have tried through our nonprofit, John 13, and through our R to R program, which is respite to residential, which I’ve talked about before, and trying to imbue it with as many chances planned, opportunities, scenarios, situations, environments, to make it joyful and fun and exciting. Now, that doesn’t mean there aren’t problems, right? There’s still going to be behavior.
(05:02):
Why don’t we get off the boat? I’m having too much time. Well, you got to get off the boat. Well, then the aggression appears, right? And we anticipate that, and some of that happens. But overall, what you end up and what we feel can be created for you as a mom or a dad with the right supports is something that you feel good about. Because you know your son or daughter, even though they’re severely autistic, even though they’re nonverbal, even though they might have seizures while our son doesn’t, all this other stuff, it’s just something that they love doing and it puts a smile on their face. And maybe afterwards they come and give you a big hug, and you just know that they had a great, great day. So don’t underestimate the importance of having fun. Talk to you again next week. See you.
